Old Paradigms And Erotic Chakra Healing

Hi Guys,

  

I know, I haven't posted here for a while. Recently, I have been on full marketing and promotional mode for my “Full Body Orgasm” workshop, and that has meant talking to quite a number of people about the subject, alongside structure of his workshop and the content of my book. 

I have to say, most people have been hugely open and supportive (verbally) about the project; I’m amazed just how many people have taken the opportunity to discuss some of their habits and concerns with me, and for this I have been truly humbled. There’s clearly a need out there for better education on these matters, as so many of us seem to exist through a combination of guesswork and publicized conformity. 

A journey to sexual wellness and fullness...

Hi Guys,

As you may be aware from my previous post, I am embarking on another 30-Days of self-pleasuring, following the Mindful Masturbation Meditation structure given by Dr. Joseph Kramer in his Yoga of Sex course, and which I write about in my book "W@nker!"

I am about to complete my first week of practice, and I can tell you now that my journey is revealing itself as a journey to and from the Heart. I know that might sound a bit New Age-y for some of you, but really, it is. Despite the fact that I am taking this meditation as an opportunity to improve my strength and fitness by swimming three times as week and dancing twice a week, alongside the erotic practice, it is my heart that is really revealing itself to be the kingpin of my arousal.

Follow my Erotic Journal here:

Hi Guys,

As I mentioned in my last post, I have decided to undertake another 30-Days of Mindful Masturbation Meditation. I've gotten into some unsatisfactory habits of late, so I'm making the time to look after myself and engage in this period of mindful re-training.

I'll be following the structure and guidance given in my book, "W@nker!" and putting up a daily report on a this page here. Please follow me if you are curious about the transformative effect of this wonderful erotic practice. I'm not likely to respond to questions or comments, but if it inspires you, by all means buy the book, do the practice and experience profound bliss and empowerment for yourself!

The link is here once again.

Be Your Best,
D.L.

"Very good news for wankers everywhere..! -

Dr. Deborah Anapol, author The SevenNatural Laws of Love

Diamond Lotus is a sex-positive erotic explorer, educator, and author. A Pelvic-Heart Integration facilitator, Diamond is passionate about promoting healthy models of intimate relating for young, straight men.

The Blind Man and the Mirage

Hi Guys,

In this amazing online world that we live in, I wonder how much of this story applies to you? How many of us live as the Blind Man, either intentionally or not? How many of us have become so invested in the Mirage that real intimacy evades us? I for one have been experiencing this in recent weeks, so I felt obliged to write about it for you. Here's the story of The Blind Man and the Mirage...

The Blind Man sees only 50% of the population; the women and girls. He is blind to the men. They are invisible to him, except when they get in the way of the female he is attracted to. I'm convinced most of us guys live like this. Why? Because we are invested in the Mirage.

Openhearted Living

Hi Guys,

I am of the belief that attraction occurs between open hearts. Openhearted people are like magnets; automatically we are drawn to them, even if we are cynical or not. Sexual attraction works the same way. Open hearts first. When we are attracted to another, sexually, we come together seemingly seamlessly. Sexual contact is a natural result as those magnetic currents draw us ever closer and eventually combine. A wave, they naturally gravitate together then recede and, ideally but not always, continue to oscillate in this pendulum effect; close enough to remain a double-headed unit in evolutionary, familial, paternal terms.

My point though is about the openhearted. Sometimes openhearted people attract others and are articulate about their boundaries and consent regarding that natural impulse to bond, mate and partner without closing down. Done in isolation, this can increase their desirability, but if received with an open heart, it results in immediate satiation and satisfaction. I speak here as the receiver. Done as part of an openhearted community or gathering there is almost no sense of rejection or castigation. Sure, we may feel a pang or two, but it’s not personal, nor does it come from an immature place of weakness or fear. In actual fact, this sex-positive approach nourishes us to take responsibility for our desire and sexual expression.

Thus openhearted living actually provides us with what we all crave – boundless love and acceptance, with occasional, wonderful, fully consented sexual encounters.

How can you tell you're in an erotic trance?

Hi Guys,

Erotic trance is an interesting phenomenon because most of us assume we know what it feels like to be turned on and highly aroused. We are used to the sensations associated with being horny. We might even have gotten a little high during intercourse or self-pleasuring, only to plummet down once our load is shot and our peak is over.

This is not an erotic trance. Simply being horny and getting your rocks off isn’t an erotic trance. It’s like saying you are watching TV when really you’re just flicking through all the channels. Erotic trance is when you are so engrossed in a movie or show that time stands still and all the sensations in your body are heightened. It takes some time for you to come out of it. It’s divine.

So how can you tell that you are in this erotic trance?

Well, simply put, there is a major shift in your focus.

Ten ways to experience erotic bliss that isn't just sitting, fondling one's genitals.

Hi Guys,

The other day I found myself having a nosey at one of those webcam sites, as you do, and I noticed that most of the guys on there were getting their rocks off in a merely prolonged, passive kind of way. This was, sadly, to be expected. If you've read my book, you'll know that I refer to this as the good 'ol "passive wank". It's the Level 1 of erotic bliss, and many of us never get beyond it.

Now, I know that we guys are heavily visual when it comes to building and enjoying our sexual arousal, and these sorts of sites exploit know that too. I dare say, they even emphasise it, because the longer we sit and click, the more dopamine is released into the system and the more we get addicted to whatever it is we are staring at, and keep doing it. It's a simple, primal cycle. But, it isn't the only way.

So, here are ten ways to build and enjoy your erotic bliss that you can experiment with alongside your  passive wanking, or, even better, instead of.

1. Eye contact, eye gazing. If you don't have a partner, use a mirror.
2. Dirty talk & affirmations. Again, if you don't have a partner, do this to yourself in the mirror. It's powerful.
3. Experiment with breath patterns. Short and long, fast and slow, mouth and nose.

Owning Your Shit #2: "I Hate Women"

“The term Nice Guy is actually a misnomer because Nice Guys are often anything but nice.” – Robert Glover, PhD

Hi Guys,

You know I want to share something with you now that I think might not be the most expected thing to come out of my mouth on a blog about intimacy tips for young, straight men. But here it is: I hate women.

Shocking isn’t it? I don’t know how this has come about, but the realization came to me in a flash and I know there is truth in the statement. And you know what? It feels good to admit it. I am relieved to know this about myself. It feels good to understand how disingenuous my actions have been. I no longer need to feel the pangs of rejection and guilt about offering help, support, advice, love, sex, being present, etc. These things I have aspired to master in the past – for the betterment of myself and for the purposes of getting laid (well), I’ll admit – and yet underneath it all I’ve been struggling with this women-hating conflict. Am I alone in feeling this?

Most of us guys don’t know this about ourselves I am sure. If we do, would we dare admit it? And to who?

Ten ways to expand and open your heart

Hey Guys,

Let me continue the blossoming spring feeling with these tips on expanding your heart and making the most of your rising energy levels. Since writing them I've been practising a few myself; getting outdoors is definitely one of the easiest to do I've noticed. Saying hello to a stranger - in a city - is slightly more challenging! Well, every little helps... Enjoy and let me know how you get on.

Here are my Ten ways to expand and open your heart (and a couple of bonuses for you too; a little more challenging...)

Ten ways to put the fun in self-pleasuring back into your life.

Hi Guys,

Spring is here and the weather is getting warmer. Finally.

If you have found - like me - the cold weather of winter slips you back into old masturbatory habits, then here are my suggestions for adding a gentle spark into your erotic practice. A lot of these appear in instructive detail in my book, but in case you haven't yet bought it, here are some things to get you started:

1.     Buy a mirror

2.     Set a routine for the morning

3.     Use a timer

4.     Use or give affirmations to yourself as you do it

5.     Bring in or invite a friend to witness you

Ten ways to get laid without really trying.

Hi Guys,

If you can hold a conversation, present yourself well, treat others with respect and have an open mind. Here are, in no particular order or preference, ten ways that may – almost guaranteed – get you laid without really trying…

Happy Birthday "W@nker!"

Hi guys,

Can you believe it was one-year ago when the first edition of my first book, "W@nker!" a practical guide for men to enhanced erotic practice and superior pleasure" (phew, long name isn't it?), was published?

To celebrate it's first birthday I have decided to give you all a massive discount on the Kindle copies. It's yours now and throughout March for $2.99. Yup, a life-changing, life-affirming read for the price of a decent cup of coffee, $2.99.

What ISIS can teach us about sex and human nature.

Okay, not to get political on you, but this came to me at the end of last year, when we all needed a bit of hope...

The fact that there exists regimes, movements and organizations that appear to deal in evil, shadow and darkness is proof that there is also an expanding movement of lightworkers dealing in awareness, life and love. Nature lives in balance so there cannot be one without the other.

Alongside this, is the fact that we too can exist in all of those polarities, if even for just a split-second each day. These polarities may expand to become a way of life, and for many they do, but to suggest that those who choose these extreme paths can be eradicated or promoted is naïve – we are all of these movements, for better or worse; at any given moment we are drawn to and/or repelled from either of them. The practice is to be aware and tread the Middle Way; with permission to exist in either extreme momentarily, with consciousness, with awareness, and consideration of the impact of such swings of movement.

Eventually, the pendulum rests in the Middle. Each impulse sets it in motion first one way, then the other. But rest, availability, and potential are always in the Middle-Centre.

The Pleasure Focus

Whether you are solo or with a partner(s), I encourage you to explore this mindset. I know for a lot of us, “giving pleasure” is the first thing on our minds, and knowing whether our efforts are effective can be a source of anxiety for a lot of us (that’s another post right there!). However, for those of us who have progressed a little and discovered how the body often hangs onto stuff that gets in the way of experiencing pleasure, clearing this in itself can become an obstacle.

…There I was, lying in the bath exploring my body and, like Archimedes, I had a “Eureka!” moment:  what if my point of focus was all wrong…?

You see, as a bodyworker and empath, I’m used to searching out and sensing sore points in the body that hold some kind of unwanted emotional charge; a past trauma, stuck emotions or a repressed experience, that sort of thing. Naturally, I do the same thing when I’m exploring myself. However, what I realized there as I lay in the bath, was that if I was only ever hunting for this kind of discomfort-release, then I was missing a vital part of my experience: pleasure.