Hi Guys,
What is jealousy? There are schools of thought that suggest jealousy occurs when we realise we do not have control over the behaviour and affection of another. It is connected to the helplessness that we feel when others act of their own free will (as they always do anyway), and it is what happens when we assume others are available to fulfil our sexual needs indefinitely. Alongside this is the belief that they are in on that agreement too (they may be, they may not, have you had this conversation yet?). When they exist around others in a way that we interpret as threatening to that agreement, jealousy occurs.
What is Karma: my understanding is that Karma is the inherited pathway of life state that we individually exist in/with/through as we go about our daily business. Like it or not, Karma is with us all the time. Consequently, it unites us all. Some people associate it with the idea of reincarnation and ask questions like: “will I come back as an ant if I am bad?” (does anyone ask what they will come back as if they are good?). I don’t really have an answer to those questions because it’s not what I am focusing on here. What I am focusing on is the belief that understanding Karma allows us to take a wider, bigger-picture view of our experiences; be they perceived as good or bad, positive or negative, we can find ourselves in a compassionate place with what is happening (or not) to/with us.
My current practise involves daily reminders that everyone, including me, is on their own path of Karma; they are in their own journey of positive and negative experience, no matter what I do or how I am around them. In a way, it’s a separatist practice, but not really because, as I said, Karma unites us all, it’s just that yours is different to mine. As I affirm this to myself on a regular basis, I’ve noticed a number of positive effects. I find I am more comfortable in social situations. I am less concerned about how I am perceived. I am less fearful of being attacked, and I am less anxious about what I need to be happening in order to be okay. When I cease to resent others for not behaving in a way that services my needs (“and why aren’t they doing what I want/need them to do anyway? It must be a personal attack!” my Ego says), then I find myself less preoccupied with head-bound chatter, breathing more fully, and less reliant on the reactions of others to determine my mood.
Suddenly, my social engagement is less outcome-based and more representative of my best self.
It really is remarkable what happens when we allow others to be in/on their own journey.
With such a positive outcome in my social interactions, I decided it would be worth testing this practice on someone with whom I have been suffering a degree of jealousy.
It's a short story: as we found ourselves in the same social gathering of individuals, I perceived (as I would) the contrast in her behaviour with me and with others of similar sexual availability. I felt the pang of jealousy hit me and rather than be determined by it, I began my karrmic-affirmation. Do you know what happened? Almost instantaneously it did not matter to me whether I was attractive to her or not. It did not matter whether we spoke or shared affection. I did not matter whether I gained her sexual approval or was sexually intimate with her. What did matter was that that I could engage fully in the social situation with my best self, that I was able to breathe fully in her presence, and that I was free of mindless chatter and emotional turmoil.
It really was a powerful shift in mental perception.
Karma is with us all the time. If I can accept and allow you to be in yours, then I can be fully in mine, no matter what happens.
I encourage you to try this out today.
Be your best,
D.L.
Liked this article? Why not learn how to turn social frustration into Purposeful Gold too!
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| "Very good news for wankers everywhere..! - Dr. Deborah Anapol, author The Seven Natural Laws of Love |
