Pornography: a challenge #1

Hi Guys,

You may recall a few weeks back I made a linked post to this site: yourbrainonporn.com. For those of you who made it over there and watched the whole presentation, you will no doubt recall Gary Wilson’s challenge of staying porn free for 90-days.

If you didn’t, but are interested in what he has to say, you can also check out this great talk that he did on TEDX: the great porn experiment. My favourite bit is his assertion that older men recover faster than younger ones - about 13mins in - hey, I’m not that old, but I did get sexually enlightened in the days before broadband. Before dial-up actually…jeez!

As you know, I’m quite up for a challenge, so as I write this post I am currently on day 26 of the proposed 90-days porn-free experiment. 

“Why did I do that?” you may ask…

Well, as a sex-positive pleasurist, I know that the power of my senses are very important to my overall arousal and pleasure state. If you tell me I can enhance my senses by cutting out porn viewing, then obviously I’m going to give it a try.

To be honest, I was beginning to feel numbed out by watching porn anyway. Sure, I’d get off on the open display of tits and ass and penetration, but I always knew, eventually, that something was missing. I’d be looking at porn and would really be searching for some kind of connection, something to alleviate my boredom, something tangible, something that would make me feel sexy, alive and human. Something, something...

Sometimes I’d find it, trip out, and then land in the same spot that I started in…doh! I couldn’t help but wonder why…

In my book “W@nker!” I write in more detail about my relationship with pornography, and I offer a way through that still includes genital touch and masturbation. You may want to check it out here.

“But, what have I found in my abstinence?” 

Well, 26 days in of 90, I have, oddly enough, found more of myself; I have noticed a shift in my awareness that puts the physical me at the centre of my erotic experience, rather than some displaced, disassociated other.

I feel I am much more responsive to my immediate environment, both in terms of arousal and engagement. Now, I feel enjoyment when I meet people. Now, I actually want to meet people!

And when I do, especially women, I feel like a highly tuned and highly sensitive machine; the smallest whiff of pheromone and I’m writhing in delicious erotic enjoyment, ready for more!

I know for some of you this will sound like sexual frustration, but believe me, it ain't. It's sexual empowerment: feeling my body hot, horny and in control, rather than feeling off-centre because I got dazzled by a flash of something that triggered a replay of a clip I'd seen is not sexual frustration!

It ain’t easy to quit porn, but while my senses are this perked up and I feel a permissiveness around my sex and sexual expression, I am more than happy to stick this one out. 

All in the interests of curiosity, of course!

I'll let you know how I get on as I get closer to the 90-day limit... in the meantime, feel free to click on this link and have a go at one of my Masturbation challenges.

Whatever you decide, be your best,

D.L.

"Very good news for wankers everywhere..! -
Dr. Deborah Anapol, author The Seven
Natural Laws of Love

Diamond Lotus is a sex-positive erotic explorer, educator, and author. Currently training as a teacher of Pelvic-Heart Integration, Diamond is passionate about promoting healthy models of intimate relating for young, straight men.