The Master Key to great sex and arousal

Hi Guys,

Recently, it has been bothering me that Sex is not up to scratch. 

I’ve also been pleasuring myself and wondering what the hell I’m doing. Why am I left feeling empty? Why do I not get energised or - my favourite - transcendent, even though I am giving my genitals a high level of stimulation and consciously breathing?

I have been wondering if it was just me, or whether there is something more general going on.

I think it’s both (in fact, I know it’s both, but I’ll save the general one for another post).

Would you be surprised to learn that it took the surprise visitation of an ex-girlfriend to remind me what I have been missing?

Well, it was…. man, how I hate that ex-girlfriend!

Just kidding. 

Once I had gotten over the shock of seeing her again, and my ongoing resentment at seeing her again, I realised that I had this warm and expanded feeling in my chest…

...I felt vibrant, positive and alive...

Sure, my loins got activated (and why wouldn’t they? She’s incredibly hot), but here’s the thing: they got activated because my chest was open, NOT the other way around!

(I put chest because if I say heart some of you'll think I'm being a pussy.)

Can you believe that?

I know guys are visual creatures and designed to be turned on by the female form,
but I'm not sure that just admiring the scenery is enough to get us going. It takes a bit of emotion and personal story too.

I see so many guys get stuck when they equate the superficial and transitory beauty they are sold with sexual satisfaction. They do it so much so that they completely forget to notice how they feel.

Is this you?

I know I’ve written about this quite a bit in my book, but in case you haven’t got it, here’s what my ex-girlfriend reminded me:

To get to great Sex, we must go through the Heart

It’s as simple as that.

If I want higher levels of arousal, I must first spend time softening and opening my chest area, and then connect it to my genital/sex area, using my breath, voice, movement and imagination.

Acknowledging how I feel is a major part of that process.

The split between heart and genitals that so many of us guys have (I won’t say feel, because some of us haven’t got that level of awareness - just accept that the split exists) is something that my training in Pelvic-Heart Integration really focuses on.

Maybe it’s because I’m in the middle of that process that this is showing up?

Maybe that’s the synchronicity of the visit from an old flame?

Who knows..?

What I do know, is, since recognising this loving message, I have cut down on my genital-only self-pleasuring. Now, I focus instead on extending and expanding my senses, so that my heart and chest area can expand with full breath, and I spend time linking them both.

I do this because I know it is the process that enhances my pleasure capacity and brings me great satisfaction in both solo-loving and with my partner(s).

Try it now. #sex #arousal #intimacy #masturbation #pleasure #relationships

Be your best,

D.L.

"Very good news for wankers everywhere..! -
Dr. Deborah Anapol, author The Seven
Natural Laws of Love

Diamond Lotus is a sex-positive erotic explorer, educator, and author. Currently training as a teacher of Pelvic-Heart Integration, Diamond is passionate about promoting healthy models of intimate relating for young, straight men.