Hi Guys,
I am of the belief that attraction occurs
between open hearts. Openhearted people are like magnets; automatically we are
drawn to them, even if we are cynical or not. Sexual attraction works the same way. Open
hearts first. When we are attracted to another, sexually, we come together
seemingly seamlessly. Sexual contact is a natural result as those magnetic
currents draw us ever closer and eventually combine. A wave, they naturally gravitate together then recede
and, ideally but not always, continue to oscillate in this pendulum effect;
close enough to remain a double-headed unit in evolutionary, familial, paternal
terms.
My point though is about the openhearted.
Sometimes openhearted people attract others and are articulate about their boundaries and
consent regarding that natural impulse to bond, mate and partner without
closing down. Done in isolation, this can increase their desirability, but if received with an open heart, it results in immediate satiation and satisfaction. I
speak here as the receiver. Done as part of an openhearted community or
gathering there is almost no sense of rejection or castigation. Sure, we may
feel a pang or two, but it’s not personal, nor does it come from an immature
place of weakness or fear. In actual fact, this sex-positive approach nourishes us to take responsibility for our desire and sexual expression.
Thus
openhearted living actually provides us with what we all crave –
boundless love and acceptance, with occasional, wonderful, fully consented
sexual encounters.
There are pitfalls. In isolation we can
build the giver’s ego in praise. In isolation we may be asked to shut down our
hearts as they come under attack from mindless others or manipulation or
advantage-seeking. Now, as we live, I see here, in this closed-hearted way, the
evidence calls out open-hearted living as what we all crave underneath, but don’t or
daren’t as it strikes us as vulnerable – but all we need is a critical mass and
the support is always there. Instead we've convinced ourselves we should play these games and invent rules and
criteria and judgments and put passive-aggressive, and sometimes plain
aggressive, strategies ahead and around us, because we seek to protect or
increase our heart’s value. In actual fact we’re simply avoiding contact with
our own heart full stop. We’re merely strengthening the defenses, uncertain of
the prize we protect. Under a false assertion we hand over the power to all
those others outside of us. We assume they have the key and we’ve lost the map
to our own heart a long time ago. It’s not true.
The right of way is ours. The map and the
key are ours. Openhearted is a choice. First one and then more.
Be Your Best,
D.L.
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Diamond Lotus is a sex-positive erotic explorer, educator, and author. A Pelvic-Heart Integration facilitator, Diamond is passionate about promoting healthy models of intimate relating for young, straight men.
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