How to relate to women: a new paradigm of equality

Hi Guys,

Ever been surrounded by a group of women who appear to be calling the shots, leaving you feeling out of sorts, unloved and, god forbid, emasculated? Read on:

• First, know that masculine and feminine energies exist and that they are not the same as 'male' and 'female'. We have both and usually we live with one more dominant than the other. However, we can (and I dare say we should) alter our state and way of being to embody the other form. 
• The masculine energy has a way of interacting with its environment; the word usually associated with it is: penetrating or active
• The feminine energy also has a way of interacting with its environment; the word usually associated with it is: receiving
• As a guy, you probably like being in control, knowing what you are doing and where you are going, etc (this has the 'penetrating' quality of the masculine energy). Even if you like 'going with the flow' (the 'receiving' quality of the feminine energy), I bet it comes out of a clear mindset and direction (even if it's freeflowing); therefore, subtly, penetrating.
• Basically, how you do 'go with the flow' will be a different approach to how a woman does it.  
• So, what happens when you are surrounded by a group of women who are calling the shots? 
• Most guys  try to take charge, try to control the situation, or they withdraw themselves, they try to ignore the helpless feelings it provokes in them. They do 'men' stuff and then tolerate the 'women'. Or they just sulk. And that's the old paradigm. 

• Try this: approach the women with no notion of controlling the outcome of your dialogue. There is no blame or shame or guilt happening here. Be prepared for whatever the outcome and:

• SPEAK HONESTLY FROM YOUR HEART about the helplessness, the lack of support, the isolation, the 'whatever' you are feeling in that situation. Claim your shit. Know your shit. Use the speaking to figure it out. Here is your opportunity to break that tension and grow.
• You are not being less of a man to admit those things
• You are speaking as a man from a place of more feminine energy (which wants clarity and communion). 
• It shows that you are willing to approach the women on their terms.
• It shows that you respect them for who they are, that you acknowledge their power and you are not afraid to show your vulnerability. 

• Most important: How does the man become 'not afraid'? 
• He cultivates and draws support from the healthy masculine role-model inside himself (which is what I'm all about and is something we develop in Pelvic-Heart Integration).
• The healthy feminine will be there too, but it is the masculine model that will give him the courage and the ability to speak and face his fears without controlling the outcome. 
• Note: if the women sense you are bull-shitting them, they have every right to eat you alive! And they will! A healthy masculine knows that and does it anyway. Soon you will learn when the shit is yours and when it is theirs. At that point your world just got a whole lot juicier!
• For more on 'healthy masculine' see: Number One tip for a healthy masculine

Be your best,

D.L

"Very good news for wankers everywhere..! -
Dr. Deborah Anapol, author The Seven
Natural Laws of Love

Diamond Lotus is a sex-positive erotic explorer, educator, and author. Currently training as a teacher of Pelvic-Heart Integration, Diamond is passionate about promoting healthy models of intimate relating for young, straight men.