Number one tip for healthy masculine: Unconditional Responsibility

Hi Guys,

Dare I say it, this may just be the most important tip for you in this blog,  especially when your shit comes up in intimate relationships...

• This tip is number one because it is the foundation of any intimate relationship you have; starting with yourself and extending to one or more other(s).
• Absolute Responsibility is you owning your shit.
• This takes practice, especially if it is a new habit. Build your awareness. 
• When that voice inside begins its chatter and starts putting blame or shame or guilt onto another person or situation, ask yourself: what is my role in that? What has it triggered in me?
• Admit your fears, weaknesses, insecurities to yourself. If not they'll bite you on the bum all the time. Face them down.

• So something happened and .... you got triggered:
• Admit you are scared
• Admit you are trying to avoid your guilt
• Admit you are afraid of being abandoned
• Admit you lack confidence
• And then take action to improve yourself: take responsibility. No-one else will do this for you

• Essential: Intimacy will trigger all this for you anyway, so be grateful to your partners for helping highlight your areas of work, rather than shift the focus and blame or try to change them. Know your part in whatever has arisen and let the other stuff go. 
• Like Ghandi said "Be the change you want to see in the world". And know that you can handle it.
• This is not mea culpa, so no martyr complex and taking all the blame for everything please. This is an empowering technique, not a reason to beat down on yourself.  Make sure your know the difference. 
• If you are brave enough to do this and more, get ready for great intimacy.

Be your best,

D.L.

• PS For more on 'Vulnerability', see Top intimacy tip for men: Active Receptivity

"Good news for wankers everywhere..!"
- Dr. Deborah Anapol, author,
The Seven Natural Laws of Love

Diamond Lotus is a sex-positive erotic explorer, educator, and author. Currently training as a teacher of Pelvic-Heart Integration, Diamond is passionate about promoting healthy models of intimate relating for young, straight men.