Hi Guys,
Now, in this post I'm going to suggest something that for a lot of you will appear contrary to what the conventional "being a man" ethos would expect you to do. You know, the out-dated concept about always man being in control, being dominant, and knowing when to make the moves?
Well, screw that! Certain skills I do possess, but to my mind, guesswork is not something I want present in my lovemaking.
- How do you know if a woman is ready for you to enter her?
- How do you know if a woman is ready for you to touch her genitals (call it a vulva, call it a yoni, call it her sex, whatever). How do you know?
- Stop presuming and insisting (unconscious). Do this:
- ASK!
- Simple as that. "May I touch you?", "May I enter you?"
- Take the risk of rejection, ask...
- AND RESPECT THE ANSWER!
- Simple.
- It brings you (and, importantly, her) fully present to the moment (conscious).
- It brings shared responsibility for the encounter
- This is not you being an unsure wuss-bag
- This is you aware of and in control of yourself and the situation
- This is you making sure that she is with you in the experience
- Just because she opens her legs to you, doesn't mean she necessarily consents.
- Here's an important part: Many women are conditioned to be passive and/or compliant when it comes to sex. "Lie back and think of England" was what they used to say. They may be there in body, but not in heart and soul. Like Elvis, 'they have left the building'. This simple tip brings them right back to the moment and, importantly, hands them back their power to be involved or not.
- Quieten your ego men. I have seen women burst open like a new flower because I dared to ask.
- Now it is your turn. Show them the respect that they deserve.
- And remember...
- 'No' means 'no'. Deal with it.
- For more on 'Conscious Relating' see: how to relate to women: a new paradigm
Be your best,
D.L
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| "Brilliant" - Dr. Joseph Kramer |
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