Hi Guys,
Here's a little something to try with a partner that you are comfortable with and trust, specifically when she is ahead of your mood...
- Shift the focus from: "she wants to have sex; she is trying to turn me on; I don't feel turned on; don't touch my cock; I don't want to be hard and penetrating"...
- to: "she is turned on and enjoying herself; there is no demand on me to be turned on or perform too; I can relax and stay with her; this isn't about regular, penetrative sex." You are in the role of Receptive (not passive) Lover.
- Bring your focus from your genitals to your mouth: Oral focus - lips, tongue, teeth only (hands for grabbing, holding, ripping, squeezing)
- Genitals may come into play but this is not the main focus or the aim.
- Stay with the oral focus, allow the body to express itself here - what does it want to do? suck? lick? bite? hold? chew?
- Does it want to be hard and firm? aggressive? tender and gentle? what is the impulse? Lean into that and follow:
- Take care of your partner. Things may become rough and noisy - allow the vocals. What are they? Snarls? Growls? Howls? Laughter? Grunts?
- Follow that oral drive and take care of your partner; stay connected.
- Savour. Relish. Enjoy.
Be your best,
D.L.
- PS For more on 'Sex Techniques', see my post: Better Thrusting
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| "Very good news for wankers everywhere..! - Dr. Deborah Anapol, author The Seven Natural Laws of Love |
Diamond Lotus is a sex-positive erotic explorer, educator, and author. Currently training as a teacher of Pelvic-Heart Integration, Diamond is passionate about promoting healthy models of intimate relating for young, straight men.
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